I’ve been getting a lot of questions from people – “how is it going?” “how does it feel?” along with, I must add, an ENORMOUS amount of support. (thank you thank you thank you thank you all)
How IS it going? Well, I’m having a hard time settling down. I’m still getting over the remaining dregs of a bad cold (of course I get a horrible cold when I’m making big change) so I still bust into coughing when I exert myself, which has kept me from going back to yoga. My mind is spinning about 9,000 miles per hour – a wild blur of to-do lists, and, more exciting, WANT-to-do lists. Lists and lists of the things I want to do now that I have time. Those are fun lists, but they are still just as distracting, constantly taking me away from NOW. I’ve dealt with it by building actual to-do lists the way I always did at my day-job – adding on things that I accomplish that I also did that weren’t on the list to remind myself when I get frustrated with a task that no, really, you ARE kicking ass, just give yourself a break.
The kitchen has been scoured from top to bottom more than once. The laundry has been done. Today I actually let the living room slide because I’ve been working on the new SKS website, and the other list of to-do’s – which is impressive. That is a really really LONG to-do list. But we’re doing it. Bit by bit, and with a lot of help.
The part I have a hunch I’m going to have difficulty with is the removal of one hat to don another. For instance, I’ve been working on IT, data entry and admin-style work ALL DAY. Now, after finishing this post I will be heading off to rehearsal with Mike – time to be the artist. Time to perform and let the music flow through me – talk about a completely different type of energy. That’s like trying to get the water running out of a hose to run backward.
I’m very glad that I have learned the skills to be aware of this challenge, and to be able to watch how I react to it before I make any changes (here’s to 6 years of therapy)