I’ve wanted to write this blog for about a year. I’ve been trying to come up with the right word. That’s what’s been slowing me down. After all that I went through from 2014-2017 (which I’m now coining “The Business”) I’ve been lacking the right…word…for what it is I’m doing with myself now after such extreme change.
That fucking word. I swear to Christ.
It haunts us with things left undone. With potential. An endless stream of what-ifs, could-haves, and maybes that meld into a theatrical chorus of “You are not good enough as you are”.
I’m not talking about positive self-improvement. I’m talking about those twisted voices whose only purpose is to torment. We all have them.
If you come across an item you’re not sure about while you’re in the process of decluttering there is a three-question system you use:
- Do you actively use it?
- Do you need it?
- Do you love it?
I’ve been doing this for a while, so most things need two or more yeses to stay.
This year what struck me as I started cleaning out my ever-dwindling cabinets is that they are not full of “things” anymore. They are full of the people I used to be, or people I wish I was.
Because I understand multiple points of view, it takes me a while to figure out how I feel about things. I’ve always seen this as a weakness because in debates I am not able to respond quickly. And I can’t just blurt out whatever comes to mind because I also come with this self-edit-function that won’t allow me to stand up for something unless I know it’s true to ME.
And I wanted to sit on this until I knew I was saying my truthiest truth.
I turned on The Sound of Music today to keep my head occupied while I started reorganizing my living space (a fall tradition).
It’s one of my favorite movies. One of the things I really like about it is that every time I watch it, something else pops out at me. Today’s thing was Maria’s reoccurring line:
“When God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window”
I surprised myself by responding, “Yeah, I don’t think that’s always true.”
As always, there are so many things bouncing around my head, my life, my space… Sit Kitty Sit leaves for another six week tour in a short 12 days and as usual my mind races with “how will we get it all done?” But we always do – even if it’s by the skin of our teeth. haha!
That said – I’m also launching a whole new project. One I’m very proud of! I’ve not shared much of my day-to-day outside of Sit Kitty Sit very much besides the occasional personal blog, and that is something I want to change. So I’ve built a page for myself on Patreon.
Patreon is a crowd funding site with a twist – unlike Kickstarter or IndieGoGo where you look for one-time funding for a project, Patreon creates an ongoing relationship with the people who support you. Which for me, is the best part! Here’s the little video I made so you can check it out. xoxoxoxox –kat
The only thing that is still the same in my life right now as it was 18 months ago, is that I am currently breathing and have a heartbeat.