So, hi. I live in Wisconsin now. We’d been planning this move for a year, and talking about it for a few years before that before we committed to a date and put a plan in action.
All that time the discussion was “someday” based. Someday we’ll have enough room to “art” all the time. Someday we’ll have a real kitchen. A really nice one. Someday we won’t have to break our gear down every time because we’ll have our own rehearsal space that we don’t have to share. Someday we’ll use all the stuff we have had in storage for years. Someday we’ll have all the time and space we need to make art. Nothing will stop us then. Someday, someday, someday.
“Someday” – the total dream. “Someday” – the unreachable goal.
In movies you see our hero working toward their dream with unbreakable resolve. There is no doubt in their mind they can accomplish The Thing. No matter how badly they get knocked down, they get up still believing until they finally reach their goal, accomplish The Thing. And they do it!! They fought for it and won. With hands on hips and chin pointed proudly upward as they face the setting sun, we, the audience, share the sensation of complete and total pride and satisfaction in a job well done.
The End. Roll credits.
But to me “someday” seemed like this unreachable imaginary place. Even with a savings plan in place. Even with a date on the calendar, I don’t think I really believed it would happen.
And then…pandemic. And the snide little part of me was satisfied. “See? It’s never going to happen. BWAH-HAHAHAHA!” Shut up, snide voice.
But the wheels were already in motion. There was no stopping them. And yes, there was a 2 month delay while the country was shut down. But on July 15th we finally arrived at our new home in Wisconsin.
To a house big enough to live, teach, rehearse, record and film in while still being less than half the price of a studio apartment in SF. With a real kitchen. A really nice one. Room enough to use all the things we’d been keeping in storage. All the space and time we need to make all the art. Nothing will stop us now.
The End. Roll credits.
Oh wait – I’m not a movie.
At first I just felt a combination of gratitude and shock. Holy crap, we live here. We did it. Yay us! And after that initial feeling became routine, I’ve consistently felt two things:
- really happy
- really disorganized
Sit Kitty Sit had to go on a mini-hiatus the last 2 years we were in CA because Mike’s schedule was dominated by getting a startup company going. He was working 80-90 hour weeks for a good stretch of that time. And I’ll be totally honest, I let the admin side of things slide big time.
But here we are. We have the space and the time and Mike is now full-time music and part-time startup. But our initial plan of being able to tour was also turned on its head due to the pandemic. So instead of just being able to jump in with both feet it’s more like rebuilding everything from scratch. An odd combination of getting old things back up and running (like all our social media feeds) and brand new things (like creating video production calendars).
I feel rusty and slow at things that used to be routine. I look at the big picture and see so many “to-do’s” that I don’t even know where to start. Most of the tasks we need to accomplish aren’t even a single task, but instead have 6 or 9 steps to complete said task. My brain has been spinning and I’ve been writing lists that I’m not even sure are helpful, but mostly just to get the stuff down and out of my head.
But there is progress! And in the midst of the confusion and overwhelm I have not lost the happiness and gratitude that this new situation has landed me in. The 3 year old in me is frustrated because she wants everything NOW – but the grown up me knows everything will be done in time and I just need to be patient and persistent.
Every day I wake up now I get to say to myself “Someday is Today”. And every day I get infinitesimally more organized. So now my new “someday” is that magical day when I feel like I’ve finally gotten my shit together enough that I’m taking full advantage of our new life.