What Is Brave?

I was never taught to be brave.  To my recollection.

It was more the opposite.  Not cowardly, but timid.  Don’t raise your voice, don’t handle things yourself.  Always ask for help.  Defer to men.  Defer to adults.  Don’t draw attention to yourself.  Be a polite quiet lady.  Demure.  Graceful.  I was taught to stand up straight, how to choose the correct china patterns, correctly set the table.  How to correctly clean the house, and fold laundry.  I was taught how to dress appropriately for specific occasions.  How to place my hands and feet just so when having my portrait taken.

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Today is the Day…

I’m turning in my resignation for my day job today. I’m going to be a full time artist.

AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I totally wish I was all “Champion on a Hill with Flag waving behind in dramatic fashion” but I’m way more “curled in a ball on the couch having an anxiety attack at 5am”

…which may or may not have happened…

But it’s been a long road to get here. And I’ve worked really hard. REALLY hard. And I have an amazing support system, and a part time job lined up to pay the bills… I’m not jumping off the cliff entirely.

Stupid fear. Always showin’ up when you’re trying to do stuff.

I’ll do it anyway – I just wish I felt more brave. But maybe that is being brave – the “doing it anyway” part. Regardless, I’m resigning today. Enter the beginning of a new life.

Ready or not… here I come!

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